You Do You

I bought some highly priced popcorn from a stand outside of Lowe’s recently. 

I recognized the tan uniforms right away. 

Boy Scouts! The same uniform my brother wore 40 years ago.

And I recognized the Trail’s End popcorn. 

The popcorn was no longer in giant tins—they must have gotten rid of those a while ago. It was in bags and boxes, just like you might get at the grocery store. And price signs written in red marker with $15, $20, and $25 on the table in front of each.

Of course, I had to stop. I spent years selling Girl Scout cookies and I know how important those funds are to local troops to help them do cool things.

There were two girls wearing the Scout BSA uniforms though. 

I was intrigued. 

I wanted to ask, “How come you aren’t Girl Scouts?” 

I was a Girl Scout my whole life! Actually, I still am. I have a lifetime membership. It's where I learned about leadership, and that I could do anything.

So, then I thought, hey, don't forget, girls can do anything! 

And perhaps these two young people don’t identify as girls. Or perhaps they just like Scout BSA better. I didn't want to make them or their parents standing nearby uncomfortable. So, instead, I asked, “What are you going to do with the money?” 

They told me it would help them go camping and cover fun troop activities, and provide scholarships. And if they could sell enough popcorn, they could go to Sea Base in Florida.

“I love going to Florida!” the younger one said, smiling.

So then I was embarrassed at my first reaction. 

I know better. 

Title IX is almost as old as I am. You don’t have to be a boy to be a boy scout. 

But we are socialized from a very young age. I joined the Girl Scouts in 1974. My training is deep and wide.

I recently heard Sonia Layne-Gartside, a speaker and author, say we are not responsible for our first thought. Our first thought comes from our lived experience and bias. But we can choose from there. “You are responsible for your second thought and first action,” Sonia said. 

As I was driving home, I wished I had said something to them about what was right in front of me. I imagine they get teased sometimes for wearing Scout uniforms. Especially as girls.

I wished I had cheered them on.

I could have asked, “What made you choose this kind of Scouts? What is your favorite thing about it?” 

I might have learned something new.

But I didn’t.  

And it’s so hard to be a kid today. It’s hard to do what you love. It’s hard to follow your dreams, especially if it’s something that someone else says isn’t appropriate.

It’s hard for us adults too. 

I was proud of their mom and dad, standing nearby, nudging them when the girls were a bit shy. 

I wish I had said to them all, “Good for you! You do you, and don’t ever let anyone tell you different!” I wish I had celebrated that the girls even standing there was an act of courage. I wish I had given that encouragement to their parents too. 

I’ll watch for girls standing out there again. Next time, I will cheer them on.

And how about you?

Where are you trying too hard to fit in?

Are you doing YOU enough?

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