What Tune Is Missing for You?

I’ve been singing lately.

I love to sing. 

Sang in school choirs my whole life and in chamber chorus in high school. In my twenties, I sang in my church choir. I carted my one-year-old son along to rehearsals with me, placing him in his infant seat on a pew next to me.

But a few years later, I got divorced.

I stopped going to church. 

I guess I stopped singing.

While my life was quite fulfilling, I was missing something. I was missing a community like that. 

I have always been more spiritual than religious, so I recently started attending a delightful UU church because of its open and welcoming stance on all faiths. Unitarian Universalists align with each other on values, not because you all believe in the same higher power. And I loved that—because I have always been about social justice and inclusion.

And at this sweet church, the minister happens to be a passionate musician and also acts as the choir director. The choir is 60 people who flow with whomever can make it to Thursday rehearsals and/or Sunday mornings (I love that flexibility value too). They even hold rehearsals via Zoom to make them that much more accessible. 

So, not only am I singing again, but I also feel invited in.

What tune are you missing in your life right now, if any?

Where do you long to be invited in?

Perhaps it was running, and your knees no longer let you do that. Or maybe you loved theater and drama—but it has been decades since you were on stage. Or perhaps it was playing soccer, and you’re now too afraid of getting hurt. Or maybe it was knitting and you just don't really have a passion for it anymore. 

Perhaps you sang too.

It’s quite the discovery as an adult to connect with a passion you once had 25 years before.

I come from a musical family. My grandfather once had his own orchestra. My mother was studying to be an opera singer when she met my father. My brother and sister are both musically gifted.

Singing is in my bones.

What do I love about it? 

So. Many. Things. 

The language. The stringing together of those words. The rhythm and musicality. The rhyme and alliteration. The rests. 

I love the rhythm of it too—how it can be allegro at times (lively and fast). That’s how I tend to like to live my life. Or what it sounds like when voices come together in harmony. Knowing the difference between piano (soft) and fortissimo (very loud) and when each are needed. 

Where might you be much softer—or much louder—in your own life?

One other thing I love about this UU church: The minister maintains a choir resource system on a Google drive (and I love a good system!). It includes the current repertoire, links to live versions of the songs we’re learning, rehearsal precepts, thoughts on solos, and even engagement questions for choir members.

This is how you do choir in the 21st century, people.

I already caught myself this November listening to Christmas music. Some people get annoyed that celebrating Christmas starts early. But I love it—it puts me in a festive mood. It reminds me of times with family listening to Nat King Cole while decorating the Christmas tree, or while my mother baked her Christmas cookies. 

I also love all of the classic Christmas songs because I know all the words. I have sung them again and again in Christmas concert after Christmas concert. It’s easy for me to join in.

I feel like I belong when I’m singing. I can find my place on the musical staff. I love that discovery of singing a first verse and then discovering there’s a second with totally different words but that carries the story forward.

Some might call this a hobby. 

But I wouldn’t call it that. 

I would call it a channel. It’s a channel for me to reconnect with some deep part of myself. 

What channels like this do you have?

And are you letting yourself go those places enough?

Sure, these days, my voice is weaker, less trained. I don’t always land right on the right notes. And while I sang soprano at younger times in my life, age has brought me down a few notes. I’m more comfortable these days in the alto section.

But I love that I can find melodies that I can sing loudly and confidently. And then explore places of discovery and experimentation in between. 

I love that in the UU church because all faiths are welcome, all kinds of music are also welcome. And just being with people who love music and love to bring it to life the way I do makes me feel like I’m coming home.

What places in your life do you feel like that?

And do you hang out there regularly?

For all of us, we have to find and connect with our own tunes. Billie Holiday said once, “If I'm going to sing like someone else, then I don't need to sing at all.”

What channel might you be longing to reopen? What part of yourself is waiting to be rediscovered? I hope you find it.

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