Permission to Be Irresponsible

How many uber responsible people are out there?

Raise your hands.

I’m the same way. 

I was born that way. I’m convinced I was a responsible baby.

When I was in college, while friends were off going on late-night food runs, I was serving as editor-in-chief of the university’s monthly magazine.

While students were off going to football games, I was teaching study skills at an academic center.

And while people down the hall were immersed in soap opera marathons, I was chairing the University Conduct Board that heard sexual assault cases. 

Why was I always working so hard?

Honestly, I’m not sure.

Perhaps because I love challenge. I love to learn. I wanted to gain new skills. I longed to make a difference in the world—even at 18 years old. 

Those were all good reasons. But somewhere along the way, responsibility stopped being a choice and became my identity.

Responsibility can be a huge trap. First-born children know this—taking care of everybody and everything else can sometimes suck the joy out of the room.

There’s that Mary Oliver line that keeps coming back to me: “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”

Wild. Precious. Not dutiful. Not responsible. Wild.

If you are uber responsible too, what might it look like to let go of some of that responsibility? Not all of it, not the things that truly matter, but the weight of it that’s keeping you from being a little more spontaneous, a little more playful, a little more free.

Where in your life are you playing it too safe because responsibility has become your default setting? What connections are you missing because you’re busy being the reliable one? What joy are you postponing out in the world because there’s always something more important to do at home?

Perhaps the opposite of being responsible isn't being irresponsible. 

Maybe it’s allowing yourself to be a free spirit now and then. 

To say yes to the adventure instead of the obligation. To choose delight over duty every once in a while. To remember that you don’t have to earn your place in the world by constantly producing and performing and taking care of everyone else.

What if this week you did one thing that felt a little irresponsible? Not reckless, not harmful, just... light. Spontaneous. Fun for the sake of fun. 

Maybe it’s leaving work right at 5 pm instead of staying late again, even though there’s more you could do. Maybe it’s saying yes when someone invites you to that concert on a weeknight, even though you have emails to answer. Or maybe it’s ordering takeout instead of meal prepping because you’d rather spend the evening playing board games with your kids or calling an old friend.

Maybe tonight you need to take the scenic route home just because the light is beautiful.

What would that free spirit thing be for you? And what might you discover about yourself if you gave yourself permission to try it? 

You might find that the world doesn’t fall apart when you spend choose playfulness and joy. 

You might even discover that being a little less responsible makes you better at the responsibilities that actually matter.

Have a comment? Please share on social media or contact Kellie here.