In Search of a Better World. And Pair of Jeans.

Last week, I went into a boutique looking for a new pair of jeans.

I had been in the shop many, many times before to buy a pair of earrings or a gift for a friend. But I usually steered away from their jeans because I’m short and chunky and most pants are too skinny or too long off a shelf. 

I’ve been wanting a decent pair of jeans for a while though.

I wandered around the racks not knowing how to navigate the sizing. It’s your waist, but not really. It varies depending on the style. It’s like trying to buy shoes in European sizes when you have no idea you are a 38.

A young girl approached me: Middle part, long brown hair, beautiful skin, and jeans that fit as if they were cut for her.

“Can I help you?” she asked me genuinely, silver earrings dangling around her perfect, smooth face. “My name is Zoe,” she said. 

Of course it is, I thought.

Zoe was stunning.

Beautiful.

And young.

“I’m looking for a new pair of jeans,” I said.

Zoe asked how much I wanted to spend, did I want boot cut or straight, high waist or medium, dark wash or light.

“I have no idea,” I said. “I just want a pair that will fit well.”

I expected her to roll her eyes a bit at my first-world plight. But instead, Zoe said confidently and with genuine interest, “I can definitely help you!” 

She said this as if she had nothing else she would ever want to do in this world in that moment. 

“Let me bring some over so we can figure out the right size first, and then we can try a bunch of different styles out.” She brought me pair after pair into the fitting room, throwing each new one over the door. 

“What do you think of this wash?” she asked. “I want to see these on you too,” Zoe said.

She said this as if nothing would make her happier than to see me in every single pair. Usually, I hide in dressing rooms, try things out, and sneak out if nothing fits right. But Zoe was not going to let me do that. After every pair, as I opened the door of the dressing room and peeked out into the mirrored hallway, Zoe was waiting there every time.

“I LOVE those on you,” she said about one pair, and about another, “My mom loves this style!” 

And I loved her for saying that. 

I remember the days of shopping with my own mom and having her check out my outfits. But my they were long ago. My mom isn't here anymore.

But I would take Zoe.

She was a brilliant partner, going through all of my highs and lows by my side. At one point, I said one of the pairs felt too baggy in the front with its 3-button fly. And she said, “A little too crotchy? I don’t know if that’s a word, but I can see what you mean.”

Crotchy. 

What a perfect word!

After about 20 minutes, we found the perfect one. The best color. The right style. Zoe was thrilled, as was I. And we went up the counter together, and I brought my jeans home, happily wrapped in tissue in the store bag. 

Do you ever worry about the next generation?

I sometimes do.

They suffered so much during COVID—even more than us adults. They lost so much of their childhood. Of teenage years. Of certainty and trust in systems and in the world around us. Their rates of anxiety and depression are higher than what we've seen before. But every once in a while, I see glimpses of how awesome they are. 

How optimistic. How clear about what they will and won’t do. They think and move so fast—much faster than most of us do. Their fingers are like lightning on a keyboard. And they are smart. So, so smart.

Zoe was clearly good at what she did. Sure, she could pick out a good pair of jeans—but more importantly, she knew how to simply love the human being that was before her. 

She loved the me that is me. 

Who can you do that for?

Who can you love uncompromisingly? 

We were on a trip last summer overseas, in the Netherlands, and there was a family on a bike tour around Amsterdam with us. The daughter had a sweatshirt that said “Girl Seeing the World,” and the son had a backpack that said “I Am the Future.”

(The mom was wearing jeans.)

This sweet little family made me so happy.

Their message to the world was so good.

Jane Goodall said, “Young people, when informed and empowered, when they realize that what they do truly makes a difference, can indeed change the world.”

Indeed they can.

Let’s watch them go at it.

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